I Don’t Like Crafts And That’s Okay

Maggie at the computer

Look, I like things to be simple. My recipes need to have less than five steps. My books shouldn’t have too many challenging words. I refuse to use anything besides a basic blush to highlight/contour/whatever the heck we are supposed to do to our cheeks these days. Which brings me to crafts. I want to like these kinds of projects. I mean, I like working with my hands and quick wins and things that keep my girls busy for more than six minutes.

But man, I don’t like to do crafts.

We have had this spider web (purchased at the grocery store and put up by my husband) on our window for two weeks. I keep saying I’ll make a big spider out of a garbage bag. I mean, it can’t be that hard, right?

Well, first I had to find a black garbage bag. Everything in our house was white, so I had to wait until I remembered at work. I got the bag last week and… It has been blowing around my backyard in all the crazy windstorms we’ve had in the last 10 days. Oops.

I think back to childhood where I would get all hyped up for the craft of the moment – friendship bracelets, latch hook rugs, scrapbooking. I’d save my money and/or birthday wish lists to get all the things needed for the hobbies. Then, I would organize my whole space (i.e. dining room table or bedroom floor) to get crafting and…

Lose interest.

As I’ve gotten older, I now like mushrooms, Jimmy Durante (see dad, you knew I’d get there…), and the satisfaction of a freshly vacuumed carpet. But I still can’t hold interest in a hobby for longer than it takes to waste my money on the thing.

I am/was the worst.

So this Halloween holiday season, if you walk past my house and see an empty spider web, pretend its a super scary invisible spider guarding the house and not a lazy mom who just cannot take on one more thing, okay?

And if this is you, too – I see you. Buy the completed decorations, the embellished throw pillows, and the jewelry from artisan jewelers. If there ever was a time to throw in the (laundry stripped and hand-dyed) towel, 2020 is it.

P.S. I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that if dinner seems like a craft to you, let us design it for you! 😉

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